Burning Bridges...

When I can't sleep, I write...it's just what I do! I want to get back to blogging on other subjects on here, so I figured I would start with this entry.

Sometimes you don't know the impression you have on people until later on down the road. I was recently contacted by a former client of mine to plan her wedding. This was a shock to me since she dropped off the face of the earth about three years ago! You see, she was engaged to a young man who turned out not to be the man for her. They were having many problems throughout the planning of their wedding and I had recommended they go to marriage counseling before they went any further. I don't know if they ever tried the counseling, but they definitely were not ready to get married. There was a TON of animosity for wrongs done in the past and many grudges were held along the way. Needless to say, it wore on the relationship and soon I lost all contact with them, never to hear from them again. I was so concerned, I even called non-emergency police to check out their house to see if everything was ok. It turned out that the bride had moved back to her old hometown and the groom went about his way and I was confused. Neither party contacted me to let me know what was going on. I sent e-mail after e-mail and left several phone messages, still, with no response! It baffled me! Did I not deserve an explanation? How DARE these people leave me hanging and left to clean up the mess with all the vendors! After all, these were vendors I worked with all the time and my reputation was on the line!

Angry does not even begin to describe what I felt. I was LIVID! I thought it was SO unprofessional, I even questioned if this was the career for me. After I complained to myself and got the anger out, I realized something. I was only thinking of MY hurt, MY issue, MY life! Here was a couple that was hurting tremendously from past transgressions and all I could do was think of myself. I decided to write one last e-mail to officially sever the contract with the Bride. Instead of coming at her with all the legalese, I decided to be a friend and express my concern for the both of them. I wished her well and even gave her my home telephone number to call, if she felt like she needed to talk.

To my dismay, I had not hear a word from either of them until the Bride called me two weeks ago. She said, you need to do my wedding, I already met you and I am ready to get started. I thought to myself, I know this name and the voice sounds familiar, but could it really be her?! I was shocked! It all came back to me as we began to talk and I explained to her how concerned I was for them. She then laid out the story to me and how she got all of my e-mails and never forgot the words I said to her in my last correspondence. I asked her, "Even after all this time, you could have chosen anyone to plan your event and you still had all my information?" She said that when she got engaged to her current fiance, there was no other choice, since I had made such an impression on her. The whole thing made me teary, quite honestly! She went on to explain that her new fiance is a man she knew since high school and he was truly the one for her. She said that she always knew it, but went for the "better deal" at the time. I was floored and flattered!  Because I chose not to think of myself and gave her the encouragement she needed at the time, she now wanted me to help her with one of the most important days of her life, for the second time! I ended the conversation with her to let her know I would draw up a contract and we would get started planning her dream wedding! She was so excited when hanging up with me on the phone and we agreed to touch base in a few days.

This was a MAJOR lesson for me. I did have the right to be upset, three years ago. I would have had every right, to have a stern conversation with the couple and even bring the law into it. They did break a contract and still technically owed me a nominal fee.  But, I chose otherwise, because deep down I knew they were probably embarrassed and hurting. I put myself in their shoes, as best as I could and I am glad that I did!

The old saying still applies, NEVER BURN YOUR BRIDGES! You never know the impression you will leave behind if you do, and the damage it will cause. It seems so simple, but always take the high road and pick your battles wisely! In my case, it paid off...BIG TIME!

Stay Lovely!